From Jean Hodges
Past-President PFLAG National
and PFLAG Boulder County
4475 Laguna Place #207
Boulder, CO 80303
303-444 4580
My heart has been heavy during this holiday season since I learned of the death by suicide of Alana Chen. From my 25+ years of commitment to PFLAG, the oldest national organization that supports our LGBTQ children and their families, I have been committed to changing minds and hearts to affirm our LGBTQ children and seek equality for those whose sexuality and gender identity does not conform to society’s expectations.
I am proud that our two Boulder County school districts have gradually included policies and professional trainings that protect LGBTQ students and staff so they feel safe to succeed in school without discrimination and rejection just for being who they are.
I am proud that significant legislative progress began in l996 when Colorado’s Amendment 2, which legalized discrimination in public accommodations for gays and lesbians, was struck down by the US Supreme Court. Most of us were elated when Marriage Equality became our national law in 2015. Nevertheless, the 2016 election made clear that the national struggle for LGBTQ equality was far from over. Fearful reluctance to adapt to changing times has had tragically inhumane consequences.
However, I am a person of hope. In 2019, despite regressive national executive orders, a progressive Colorado legislature moved several bills forward with informed understanding of the legal difficulties and emotional trauma for LGBTQ persons who struggled to navigate systems which did not respect their humanity. One of these bills made conversion therapy illegal. Yet Alana was entrapped by this perverse practice that asserts religious belief over scientific fact.
I am also a person of faith. I painfully struggle to understand how the Christian imperative to love one another unconditionally, as taught and practiced by Jesus, can be superseded by ecclesiastical policies and ingrained beliefs that devalue those who are different in race, culture, or their very human identity. As a lifelong Methodist, I am ashamed of the General Conference of the United Methodist Church that resists changing their anti-gay policies. It is tearing this worldwide church apart. So I am not castigating another faith tradition without recognizing that long-held prejudice and ignorance about sexual orientation and gender identity does damage beyond repair in diverse cultural and religious traditions. I weep in despair that our imbedded fears command actions that end with heart-breaking results.
The dark shadow of Alana Chen’s tragic death continues to hover over our community. Most poignantly, her family is devastated by the loss of a beloved daughter and sister whom they loved and accepted just as she was. Yet Alana met privately, even secretly without parental consent, with clergy whose influence led not to conversion but to increased depression. How can the priests not recognize and recant their dangerous counsel? Or at least apologize to the Chen family? Alana was an innocent victim of a hurtful and false belief system.
Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is not a disease that can be caught. It is not a mental aberration that can disappear with “right thinking”. We know from many peoples’ experience over the years that you cannot “pray the gay away”. Our religions tell us that we are born in the image of God, but we make the mistake of imposing our own images on the immutable “face of God”.
To those who want to make a positive difference, there is the Alana Faith Chen Foundation established by the family to reach out to those who suffer from mental health issues with special focus on the LGBTQ community. To donate go to alanafaithchen.org.
Let our meditation be to love others as ourselves and to pray that our traditional beliefs do not lead to the appalling outcome of the loss of a precious person who only wanted to love and be loved for who she was.